Pink Pills for Pale People

Executives of a large food store chain reviewed their over-the-counter pharmaceutical business. Results demonstrated a significant decline in revenue, much more obsolete inventory and, predictably, lower profits.

Ms. Let Them Eat Cake Antoinette, the Vice President of Marketing, chaired a conversation among company executives. She just returned from a personal inspection tour, and was surprised by the negative reaction to what she believes to be customer-friendly facilities. The almost fifty feet of seven levels of shelves provides ample space for medications, considering the small packages of about four centimeters across and seven centimeters tall.

The Manager of Packaging, Ms. Myopia Franklin was equally baffled by consumer resistance. While the packages are small, the labeling is adequate albeit with tiny print.  She holds government responsible because of multi-language requirements, detailed lists of ingredients, nutritional specifications and company liability denials.

Doctor Potter the Third is the Product Manager. He is the great grandson of an industry pioneer who made famous the slogan “Dr. Potter’s Pink Pills for Pale People” He is married to Fiona Placebo. The placebo family made a fortune in the sugar pills industry. Dr. Potter the Third allowed  that consumers may becoming wary of exaggerated claims of the curative power of some of their preparations. He maintains, however, that they make up a vital part of health care.

National office is represented by Mr. Our Design or None Carpenter  He is an interior design specialist. Convenience, ambiance, and product enhancement are his areas of expertise. While he observed some minor  problems, Our Design or None stated emphatically that store design is not the main cause of lower profits.

As a result of their deliberations, the following report was submitted to head office;

While the array of products is overwhelming, the consumer deserves choices to ensure effective treatment. Regarding product access difficulties, the problems are acknowledged, considering mobility issues of many customers. Soft floor covering is recommended along the shelves which will help relieve pain caused by kneeling when searching for a suitable medication. Assistance in crouching and getting up could be facilitated by monitors similar to the greeter program at Walmart. An imaginative solution to reading fine print could be the availability of magnifying glasses, along the lines of securing pens at bank counters.

A pilot study will be undertaken in a market where customers are most likely to have declining health, physical limitations, low level cognitive problems, diminishing eye sight and increasing skepticism.

A follow up report is forthcoming in six months.