An Update by Geraldine of Mount Pleasant
During the dog days of summer, Mount Pleasantites maintained a leisurely pace. The community garden required less attention, the annexing issue remains unresolved and debates about currency valuations seemed less relevant.
In keeping with the season, gatherings happened spontaneously at the Country Club and at Memorial Park. It was here during a pot luck barbeque that the Official Report Contest was born.
Rebecca Waldowski suggested, in a moment of whimsy, anyone so inclined submit a quote, proverb, song title, and any popular saying unlikely to appear in any organization’s public documents such as annual reports, submissions to regulators, marketing material and so on. Rebecca volunteered to review the submissions select a winner and publish them all in the Observer.
Kumar Nandakumar was first off the mark. He believes that the last Nortel Annual Report would not include the following – “Yes son, we have seen the enemy and it is us” ( Pogo )
Eugene Forsythe is very sure that an annual report from The Sierra Club would not include in their mission statement that our activities are aligned with the Calvin Coolidge quote of “After all the chief business of the American people is business”.
In the opinion of Sheila Glendale “A penny saved is a penny earned” (anon) would not have appeared in any literature originating from Washington Mutual. This company’s failure is the largest in US banking history.
Celine Langlois is most certain British Petroleum would never document that we –“Pour oil on troubled waters” (anon) in describing their method of addressing operational problems.
“We beat the tar out of (nautical expression) the sands of time” (anon) is Thad Fagerheim’s choice for a technical solution in any report from any oil sands producer.
A song by the Rolling Stones, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” will never appear in any literature originating from BHP, says Stuart McKenzie. He is alluding to their failed attempt to buy Potash Corp.
Larry Quong is sure, in his reports to the subscribers of Facebook new share issue, Mark Zuckerberg will never opine “A fool and his money are soon parted” (Thomas Tusser).
Finally Rene Langlois is emphatic that the Chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, Mary Shapiro, will never testify that “Hell, there are no rules here, we’re trying to accomplish something”. ( Thomas Edison ).
Rebecca is reviewing the entries and will announce a winner shortly.